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Housing Availability Doubled in Arcata

Twice as many apartments results in a 33% rent reduction, easily

Cheers erupted at the Planning Commission’s April 1st meeting, for possibly the first time in 38 years. After the back-slapping and moonbeam-grins had subsided, the Commission got down to the practicalities of how the City might be able to enforce the PlanCom’s latest change to Arcata’s Land Use Code.

“I got the idea after watching ‘Being John Malkovitch’,” explained Planning Commissioner Ivegotta Nyedear. “In the movie, a developer built an office building where the 7-1/2 floor has a ceiling height of just five feet.”

“We did a market analysis,” he continued. “With housing in such demand in Arcata, we found that 78% of renters would live in an apartment with a five-foot ceiling if the rental price was under $750 a month.”

Splitting existing apartments into upper and lower units was the brainstorm. “In an evolving world, the renter population must evolve as well,” said Commissioner Achingho Mowner. “This solution is perfect.”

In an ensuing vote, the measure passed, 5 to 2. The vote of each Commissioner did in fact correspond with whether that Commissioner was a homeowner or a renter, but that coincidence was brushed off as being substantially inconsequential.

As throaty renditions of the Woody Guthrie American classic “This landlord is my landlord, This landlord is your landlord” swept through the hallways, Commissioners gradually recognized that considerable effort still lay ahead. Much has yet to be worked out, as to such decisions as which apartment gets the windows, which gets the toilet, which gets the kitchen, and so forth. But these are mere details.

Getting Arcata’s three major landlords on board was easy as well. “For an investment of $1,000 in drywall and paint, they can pretty much double their income,” as Commissioner Iman Ownertoo remarked. “So this is good for the renters and good for the landlords too. I can’t see how anyone could possibly have an objection to this.”

“Streamlined Approval” utilized for first time

The City is making the conversion process easy, with pre-filled-out building permit forms and 48-months-to pay building fees. “The building permits are already signed by us and already approved. You can tell us what you are doing at a later time, when it’s convenient,” as Arcata building official Letzoff Bombeck put it. “And if a developer tells us they can’t afford the permit fees, we can do a trade for some used Sawzall blades. We’ll work it out.”